Sickness, Sunburn, and Furnerals

I am sick. Yet again. I was sick all week last week too. Sore throat, stuffy nose and such. All this is getting rather annoying. I've started taking allergy medication again so hopefully that'll help some.

I washed the car on Saturday and it was like 98 degrees. I was out there for around 2 or 3 hours because it takes forever to wash that stupid car since it's white and you can see every little spec of dirt or bug guts (yuck.) Anyway, this Summer I've been dying to get tan. Before this Summer my skin hadn't seen the light of day in years. And I mean YEARS. After coming inside from washing the car I got up from the recliner and started walking toward the kitchen when my Mom gasped really loudly, covered her mouth and said, "OH MY GOSH."
I froze immediately ans said, "WHAT IS IT?!"
"You're sunburned."
"Really?? Yayyyyy!"

Yeah, that made me happy needless to say. A few hours later the burn was already brown. (:

My skin is all brown and glowy from laying out so much. Not as dark as I'd like it to be but I still have a few weeks to work on it.

Yesterday my grandparents told my family that one of our regular attenders at church had died. He was in his mid 50's I believe. Anyway, a few weeks before he died he told my dad and I that he wanted us to do the music for his funeral, so yesterday my dad, brother, Nana, and I spent hours recording music for it. We sang Heaven'll Be Worth The Journey, Funeral Plans, and Beulah Land. He had requested all three and had us sing them to him that day he told us he wanted us to do the music. I'm rather glad we recorded the songs instead of singing them live at the funeral because I know I wouldn't have been able to make it through the songs without crying. I have known him since I was about nine years old. He always gave me candy when he saw me at church. I will miss him dearly.

That's all I have on my mind for now.

Much love,
*Hales.

Pieces of Me

Justin got a car today. It's a '97 Honda Accord. He picked it up at 3:00 today. He ALWAYS texts me when he gets off work until he calls me. Today, I've talked to him for about an hour in all. He's been driving, buying stuff for his car, and hanging with his friends from school. AND he's going to the movies with Thomas and Stony (2 of his friends) right now. So, that means I won't get to talk to him until about 12 or so tonight. For some reason this really saddens me. I feel all left out and junk. This brings me to my next point.

I NEED SOME FRIENDS!!! It's been almost a year since I hung out with someone other than my family or my boyfriend. I haven't had a "girl's night" in years. This makes me very sad. Life just isn't as glorious without girl (space) friends. *Friends that are girls rather. It makes me wanna... No. I will not cry. I. Will. Not. Cry. I've done to much of that today anyway. I just wanna move and get a job. Then I won't have tome to sit around and sulk about my sad life. Perfect solution don't cha think?

Anyway. I'm done being emo for now. I'm gonna go eat some junk food and watch a chick flick now.

Peace, love, and ... BEN AND JERRY'S ICE CREAM!! :D

*Side Note: I have no clue what the title of this has to do with the actual post. I just thought it went well with the picture. (:

Justin, Being Lame, and Froot Loops

Nothing exciting has been going on here lately. Justin and I celebrated our 2 months last Thursday (5/27/2010) This Saturday he's coming with me to GA to meet the rest of my Dad's side of the family. (2ND, 3rd cousins, great aunts and such.) He hates meeting people. He says it makes him nervous. But, he really does worry too much. It's kinda cute though, I dunno. He's spending all day Saturday with me because the next day he's leaving to go to Florida for a week. Without me. How sad. :( I'll miss him. A lot. Like I almost died when he went to Gatlinburg so I cant imagine how I'm gonna handle him being in Florida.

I've been talking to Racheal again. I've missed her. She might be spending the night next week since we're both outta school and junk.

This is a very random blog, huh? I just finished giving Abi her piano lesson about an hour ago. I actually like giving lessons. It's pretty cool. And now I'm texting Justin and listening to it thunder outside as I type this. I love how every time I write a blog I end up changing the title because I just find random junk to talk about. Ha. Ha. I really need a job. Because I have no life. But, my parent s wont let me get one until we move. How lame. Almost as lame as not having my licence and I'm about to turn 17. Yeah. Lame.

OH! I have found a new love for Froot Loops. I've been eating a whole 17 oz. box and drinking a gallon of whole milk (because it's way better than nasty skim milk.) in less than a week. By myself I might add. It's pretty awesome seeing as I usually never eat alot. But I'm working on gaining some weight so hopefully that'll help.

I've really been loving candles here lately. They make my room smell all good. They kinda make me sleepy of the evening though. This week I've realized that tea is the reason I've been having migraines every day. I dunno why, I guess just something in it.

I've been dying to go swimming the past few weeks. I hate not having a pool. Summer = swimming. No pool = No swimming. No swimming = Sad Haley :(

That is all for now I suppose. P,L, & C!

XoXo, Hales.

What is Wrong With Me??

Here lately I have been VERY emotional. It's kinda starting to scare me. I'll go back to when I first started to notice it...

Sunday; May 9Th, 2010 -Mother's Day
On Mother's Day we didn't have church on Sunday night so everyone could spend time with their Mom. Naturally, I invited my boyfriend to come with me to my Nana's house to eat dinner. And of course, he couldn't come. I mean, it was Mother's Day. Hello. Anyway, I was all upset that he couldn't come. I didn't cry or anything but I was still upset because I usually only get to see him once a week since we live an hour apart, and the one day I get to see him, I only got to spend a few hours with him. But, I lived. I texted him all day since I was having withdraws.

Later that day...
After we got to my Nana's house we were all sitting down eating dinner and I suddenly realized that I was the only girl/lady/woman (whatever you wanna say) there who wasn't a mother. And that, of course, made me sad. I know what you're thinking. You're only 16, why are you thinking about that? My answer is simple: I'm a girl. I have maternal instincts. I LOVE kids and hope to have a few of my own in the future. No, I'm not gonna run off and have a baby just so I can be a mom. I can wait. it just made me kinda sad.

A few hours later...
My Nana brings out this DVD of some pictures/video of part of our family. Mostly of my Poppa's family. (His parents, siblings, and cousins.) Usually I can handle stuff like that but today I was just all torn apart. As it started playing and I saw all of these people from my family who I had never had the chance to meet, tears started welling up in my eyes. Thankfully I held them back ( really don't like to cry in front of people.) I mean, c'mon! I didn't even know these people and I almost cried!

Wednesday; May 19, 2010

Last Friday I went to Mkays and had traded some stuff in so I could get some money. I had been dying to read the book The Last Song. I had looked for it there a few weeks ago but couldn't find a paperback and I refused o buy the $13 hardback. That day mom came up to me and handed me a PAPERBACK version of the book. i was SOOO happy! It was like $7 which was awesome! I started reading it as soon as I got in the car. At first it didn't really spark my interest but later that week I got really into it. I was reading atleast 100 pages a day. (It had 400 something pages.) So yesterday I was finally getting to the end -the good parts. I was laying out on my front porch getting some sun and finishing up the book when all-of-the-sudden I noticed myself start to cry. The last few chapters of the book made me cry so hard I couldn't breathe through my nose. It was pretty traumatic. But, the book was REALLYYY good. I can't wait to see the movie!

Later on that night...
My boyfriend always calls me around 8:00 at night after he gets off work. So I wasn't surprised when he called. Our conversation started off like usual. How was your day? and stuff like that. "I have something I really need to tell you," he said. And immediately my mind started racing. What did I do? What's wrong? Who died? Is he in trouble?
"What is it?? Is it bad??" i asked.
"Well, it just depends on how you take it," he replied.
I hated when he said anything like this to me. "Okay, what is it? Just tell me."
"I won't be at church Sunday morning."

I was devastated. Ever since we started going there he was there, by my side every waking moment. Even when we weren't dating.
"Okay," I said. I noticed the break in my voice and he did too. Dangit.
"Please don't cry, baby."
I didn't say anything as I layed there and began to cry. He sat there in silence and I could tell he was trying to think of what to say.
"It'll be okay, I'll see you that night..."
"It's not fair," I said, breaking into more tears, "I only get to see you once a week and the one day I do, you won't be there! It just isn't fair!"
As I sat there and cried he tried to comfort me. I put on a happy face for him because he says he can't ever sleep if he knows I'm upset. So i put on a fake happy face and changed the subject.
"You promise you're okay?" he asked.
"I'll be fine."

As we said our goodbyes and hung up the phone , reality set in and I began to cry again. I won't tell him because I know he'll worry about me the whole time he's gone. I might tell him after, or I might not. We'll see.

I'm sure I can live a few hours without him... but it'll be hard. I've never spent a Sunday morning without him. We always sit upstairs while I drink my coffee and we talk while we watch my brother and our friend Devin play pool. I'll miss him, but he'll be back soon. I just need to be slapped. I'll be fine. I think...

Anyway, see how emotional I've been lately? It scares me. I'm sure it's just a phase or something but I figured I'd blog about it just so I could have somewhere to vent about it.

I'll be fine...

Peace, love, and coffee.

*Hales

Marriage

I found this story on Facebook earlier today. I read it just to see what it was about and after I finished it, I cried. It's very sad. Please read it though, it has a good meaning.

To those who are married, ... Not married, ... and soon to be married, I hope you will be touched with this story... MARRIAGE.

When I got home that night as my wife served dinner, I held her hand and said, I've got something to tell you. She sat down and ate quietly. Again I observed the hurt in her eyes. Suddenly I didn't know how to open my mouth. But I had to let her know what I was thinking. I want a divorce.. I raised the topic calmly. She didn't seem to be annoyed by my words, instead she asked me softly, why? I avoided her question. This made her angry. She threw away the chopsticks and shouted at me, you are not a man!

That night, we didn't talk to each other. She was weeping. I knew she wanted to find out what had happened to our marriage. But I could hardly give her a satisfactory answer; she had lost my heart to Dew. I didn't love her anymore. I just pitied her! With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a divorce agreement which stated that she could own our house, our car, and 30% stake of my company. She glanced at it and then tore it into pieces. The woman who had spent ten years of her life with me had become a stranger. I felt sorry for her wasted time, resources and energy but I could not take back what I had said for I loved Dew so dearly. Finally she cried loudly in front of me, which was what I had expected to see. To me her cry was actually a kind of release. The idea of divorce which had obsessed me for several weeks seemed to be firmer and clearer now.

The next day, I came back home very late and found her writing something at the table. I didn't have supper but went straight to sleep and fell asleep very fast because I was tired after an eventful day with Dew. When I woke up, she was still there at the table writing. I just did not care so I turned over and was asleep again. In the morning she presented her divorce conditions: she didn't want anything from me, but needed a month's notice before the divorce. She requested that in that one month we both struggle to live as normal a life as possible. Her reasons were simple: our son had his exams in a month's time and she didn't want to disrupt him with our broken marriage. This was agreeable to me. But she had something more, she asked me to recall how I had carried her into our bridal room on our wedding day. She requested that everyday for the month's duration I carry her out of our bedroom to the front door ever morning.. I thought she was going crazy. Just to make our last days together bearable I accepted her odd request. I told Dew about my wife's divorce conditions... She laughed loudly and thought it was absurd. No matter what tricks she applies, she has to face the divorce, she said scornfully..

My wife and I hadn't had any body contact since my divorce intention was explicitly expressed. So when I carried her out on the first day, we both appeared clumsy. Our son clapped behind us, daddy is holding mummy in his arms. His words brought me a sense of pain. From the bedroom to the sitting room, then to the door, I walked over ten meters with her in my arms. She closed her eyes and said softly; don't tell our son about the divorce. I nodded, feeling somewhat upset. I put her down outside the door. She went to wait for the bus to work. I drove alone to the office. On the second day, both of us acted much more easily. She leaned on my chest. I could smell the fragrance of her blouse. I realized that I hadn't looked at this woman carefully for a long time.. I realized she was not young any more. There were fine wrinkles on her face, her hair was graying! Our marriage had taken its toll on her. For a minute I wondered what I had done to her. On the fourth day, when I lifted her up, I felt a sense of intimacy returning. This was the woman who had given ten years of her life to me.

On the fifth and sixth day, I realized that our sense of intimacy was growing again. I didn't tell Dew about this. It became easier to carry her as the month slipped by. Perhaps the everyday workout made me stronger. She was choosing what to wear one morning. She tried on quite a few dresses but could not find a suitable one. Then she sighed, all my dresses have grown bigger. I suddenly realized that she had grown so thin, that was the reason why I could carry her more easily. Suddenly it hit me... she had buried so much pain and bitterness in her heart. Subconsciously I reached out and touched her head. Our son came in at the moment and said, Dad, it's time to carry mum out. To him, seeing his father carrying his mother out had become an essential part of his life. My wife gestured to our son to come closer and hugged him tightly. I turned my face away because I was afraid I might change my mind at this last minute. I then held her in my arms, walking from the bedroom, through the sitting room, to the hallway. Her hand surrounded my neck softly and naturally. I held her body tightly; it was just like our wedding day. But her much lighter weight made me sad. On the last day, when I held her in my arms I could hardly move a step. Our son had gone to school. I held her tightly and said, I hadn't noticed that our life lacked intimacy. I drove to office.... jumped out of the car swiftly without locking the door. I was afraid any delay would make me change my mind...I walked upstairs. Dew opened the door and I said to her, Sorry, Dew, I do not want the divorce anymore. She looked at me, astonished, and then touched my forehead.. Do you have a fever? She said. I moved her hand off my head. Sorry, Dew, I said, I won't divorce. My marriage life was boring probably because she and I didn't value the details of our lives, not because we didn't love each other any more. Now I realize that since I carried her into my home on our wedding day I am supposed to hold her until death do us apart. Dew seemed to suddenly wake up. She gave me a loud slap and then slammed the door and burst into tears. I walked downstairs and drove away.

At the floral shop on the way, I ordered a bouquet of flowers for my wife. The salesgirl asked me what to write on the card. I smiled and wrote, I'll carry you out every morning until death do us apart. That evening I arrived home, flowers in my hands, a smile on my face, I run up stairs, only to find my wife in the bed - dead. The small details of your lives are what really matter in a relationship. It is not the mansion, the car, property, the money in the bank. These create an environment conducive for happiness but cannot give happiness in themselves. So find time to be your spouse's friend and do those little things for each other that build intimacy. Do have a real happy marriage! If you don't share this, nothing will happen to you. If you do, you just might save a marriage. Many of life's failures are people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up.

"It's Because You're In Love."

Here's the story.


On the way home from church on Sunday nights I usually nap since it's an hour long drive. Last Sunday I took my shoes off and put them in the floor. (Sleeping in heels is quite uncomfortable.)

When we got home I was so delirious. The lights in the garage were blinding me. I searched for my shoes which I had thrown in the floor. When I found them I couldn't tell which was the left shoe and which was the right. (When you sleep in contacts [which I'm not supposed to do. Sorry Mom. (: ] it takes your eyes a while to adjust to the light and you're basically blind for a few minutes.) After a couple of tries to get my shoes on I got frustrated and said, "I can't even put my shoes on the right feet!"
Dad replied, "It's because you're in love."

Thanks for telling me I'm in love, Dad. That's totally why I couldn't get my shoes on.

UPDATE

So, my Nana didn't text me back. :/ Something so much more amazing happened!! :DDD


She called my mom. They talked a while. Mom told me everything. So. Guess what!


I'm so happy I could scream. I'm dead serious. I don't think I've ever been this happy!!
Life is SO AMAZING right now.

I will elaborate at a later time. But now, I am late. For a very important date. With my pillow and blankets. Yay sleep! Did I mention I love the time change? Well, I do. I love waking up when it's still dark outside. And seeing sun at like 7 o'clock. it's amazing.

Anyway. I'm going to sleep now. Goodnight.

:)